This story starts out to be about my brother Ryan but it is actually about my brother Devin. It’s really two stories in one.

When Ryan was in 4th grade he was around the block playing at his friend Ryan Costa’s house. They were out on the swing set and I believe they were taking turns jumping off the swings to see who could jump farther. Ryan jumped off and braced his fall by extending his arms out and they hit the ground first. He was in some pain so he decided to go home the same method he arrived via bike. He came home and must have felt better, he started playing some video games and at bedtime after his shower he told my mom that his arms were bothering him. My mom put some mineral ice rub on them and sent him to bed telling him “you’re fine”.

The next morning Ryan was still complaining about his arms and my mom was thinking he was just looking for a day off from school. She did take him to the ER and of course they wanted to speak to Ryan ALONE~ just checking to be sure this was accidental. Ryan is now ready for XRAY, and they waited around and came out and said he had a buckle fracture and would need to be casted. They went to the Dr and got a cast and Ryan was back in school the following day. As the weekend approached my mom was telling a story and she was very demonstrative and gently touched Ryan’s arm and he pulled away and my mom said “did that hurt” and he said yes . This of course was the arm not casted. My mom asked him if he told the nurse that both arms were hurting? He said no, the nurse touched my one arm and said does this arm hurt and I said yes. She never asked me about the other arm. So back to the hospital they went for yet another Xray- and low and behold - another buckle fracture. So of course another private meeting with the nurses at the hospital to be sure this was “accidental” Now back for yet another cast. The first arm was an “L” shaped cast to keep the elbow straight but as the other arm was going to need casting they had to cut down the L below the elbow and add a cast to the other arm. Ryan chose two glow in the dark casts. Of course everywhere my parents went they were stared at with the child with two broken arms and his parents!

Now since he had a cast on each arm, school was a bit of a problem because he couldn’t write with his arms all casted up. I should also mention that Devin was prob around 4 years old at this time and was watching the movie “Home Alone” multiple times every day. He knew the movie by heart. Since Ry couldn’t write , carry his lunch tray or wash his hands (casts to be kept dry) he could not go to school Ryan was on home bound instruction .The teacher that ended up coming to my house turned out to be my 7th grade science teacher. Miss Schmidt, an old maid. None of us liked this teacher either, she was mean. First day of tutoring started out with Devin running through the house and distracting Ryan- my mom took him outside to play- while she was playing outside, the grill caught on fire and burned up the dinner. Of course Miss Schmidt had to witness the whole event. It seemed like after about a week she started looking at my family and thinking they really are ok. Just about that time she came out to tutor and when she was leaving the house and she had learned Devin’s name she said goodbye and was walking to her car- Devin was standing at the front door. and just shouted out

“Hey Miss Schmidt”

and she turned around and he shouted,

“Keep the change Ya filthy animal”. Then he slammed the front door.

When I was a kid we lived in a neighborhood with a lot of other kids and needless to say there were some turf wars. And me being the stand up guy I was, I was probably looking for trouble.

There was a kid who lived a few streets away, Danny B. He was a smart ass and somehow we got into an argument and then started fighting. Being that this is the first fight I remember being in, I was a little green. Danny had the weight on me and got me on the ground.

My younger brother Ryan kicked Danny’s bike over to get his attention and hopefully get him off my back. Danny kept fighting and  Ryan didn’t like this at all. It is like the old adage “I can fight with my brother but you can’t”. Ryan jumped on Danny’s back and was yelling, “Leave my brother alone.”  

Danny started crying and ran around the corner passing my mom along the way. He kept saying I want my mom…  

A little while later there was a knock at the door. It was Danny and his mom. So of course we are new in this neighborhood and now my mother is mortified that this has happened. Dannys mom was a nurse and she said well it looks like my son has some severe pinches on his back. And Ryan is standing at the front door next to my mom listening.  

He plainly said “They are not pinches, I bit him in the back three times.” Of course my mother was sinking! She promptly left and he was never allowed to play at our house again.

When my mother sat Ryan down to talk to him about fighting.. he said, “Mom don’t worry I was fighting him (he was not fighting me)”  I think most of the kids tended to steer clear of Ryan after that.

For those of you that know me you know that my family is crazy and fun.  Erin and I have realized that all the crazy stories about my family or friends of our family is enough to keep anyone entertained for hours.  We decided to record them here for the sake of humanity.  Some of the stories are much more insane if you can actually hear my mother tell them. 

The Story of Big Biggie Big Big

First to explain my mother, she is the most fantastic, outgoing and fun person I know.  She has taught me so much, especially about how to laugh at myself.  I have 2 younger brothers and we love to give our mother a hard time, but its only because we love her (and her reaction).

My mom is not a person who is up on current music or pop culture.  She might hear something in passing and not give it another thought.  Although she has been known to vacuum the house on a Saturday morning while blasting, “Who Let the Dogs Out”. That’s about as far as current music goes.  My dad has always like to play the game “Who sings this song?” It was fun for my brothers and I. When I was in high school and Third Eye Blind was everywhere on the radio, we were all driving somewhere in the car and the song “Semi Charmed Life” came on and we asked Mom “Who sings this?” and without skipping a beat she says “I dunno that band Three Blind Mice”.

Fast forward 10 years and many wrong bands later.  My brother Devin is watching TV with my mom and…

It might be relevant here to tell you that when I was in high school I had a little bit of a “Thug” stage.  I have since fully recovered but during that time I listened to a lot of Rap music.

…they were watching the movie “The Parent Trap” and a woman in the movie rolls up playing the Fresh Prince song “Summertime” and Devin sees a golden opportunity to catch my mom in one of her random pop culture moments.  He says Mom who sings this song.  And again without skipping a beat she says “I dunno is it that rapper Big Biggie Big Big?” I wouldn’t doubt it if he was the only rapper she ever partially heard of.